A Square in the Winner's Circle: Mother's Day

"I'LL ALWAYS LOVE MY MAMA, CUZ SHE'S MY FAVORITE GIRLLLLLLLLLLLLL" Truth if I ever heard it (sorry side dips). A little Intruders early in the a.m. keeps my soul healthy. Y'all don't know anything about this so don't even pretend. Today being Mother's Day has put me in the mood to listen to songs about moms. And in turn that makes me think about my mom.

I LOVE MY MAMA SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH AND IF YOU THINK YOU LOVE YOUR MAMA MORE THAN I LOVE MINE WE MIGHT HAVE TO THROW HANDS UNTIL THE DEATH.

Alright, I had my moment. Back to the script. I really love my mom. I can't even explain it. It's one of those things that I think about and it's one of the most sure things in my life. I'm definitely not the only one who feels like that (hopefully) and it makes me even happier. I love when people appreciate their mother. Whether we want to believe it or not, having kids is an extremely hard job. Personally, I can footwork in the morning everyday at the fact that I don't have to give birth. If you've been in SexEd, you've seen the in-depth process at that and for that alone they mom's should receive props. I make sure to give my mom props everyday, whether it's a thank you for food she cooked or brought home, to buying me something and having it waiting on me when I get home (one of the best feelings) or just a hug just cause. What I really appreciate is when I'm in a slump, my mother would notice it instantly and remind me that I have a purpose and to stay up as I usually do. That's rejuvenation for me. My mother does it best.

For a little background on my mother Pamela Berry, she's from Alabama, Jefferson County I believe. She moved to Chicago when she was in grammar school, to the block of 67th and Carpenter (my mom and I actually live in the house directly in front of where her old home stood, which we also lived in when I was younger). My mom had 7 siblings, just 1 short of the amount I have. After the departure of the two oldest uncles, it was clear my mother already had motherly instincts in her. She watched over her younger siblings a lot, cooked, cleaned, and everything else. One story mom particularly tells all the time is when she was a teenager and my grandfather and grandmother left cookies on the table and told them to not eat them or they would be punished. My mother watched over those cookies closely while my grandparents were away, making sure none of her busybody younger siblings took one. My grandfather came home and punished all the older siblings including my mom anyway. His reasoning? The cookies were moved. My mom never got over that and honestly, it's a funny yet harsh story.

Fast forward to my mom's senior year in high school. She gets pregnant with my oldest sister Sheree and soon gets married. That's when the legend of Pam began. My mom soon had 8 more kids, most within two year spans until you get toward my older brother and little sister. Yeah, we were a mess. From my brother Rashin hitting my brother Marciano with a hammer playing Power Rangers to my brother Matt framing me for a bathroom mishap by shitting on the floor and blaming me, we knew how to keep her busy. But oh believe me, my mother wasn't a pushover. She was a strict authoritarian parent. Whatever she demanded, had to be done, or there were swift consequences. There was no talking back, your opinion was often disregarded, and there were very high standards for the way we carried ourselves and school. Now that I think about it, I've said "Yes ma'am" more than I've ever said my name. We rarely were ever let off the block to go play in fear that we may fall victim to violence or abduction .The house always had to be clean as well. I remember times where my mom would call the house to check in on us and tell us she was coming home from work soon and we would get in a cleaning frenzy. We knew a dirty home was unacceptable to her and was a high crime.

As much as my siblings and I despised the way things were, it made us, from my judgment, really good people. My mother was trying to raise us right. She was trying to instill respect, organization and righteousness in us. Growing up in Englewood, not many kids were as privileged to have a mother who cared as much as ours. None of us are in prison, addicted to drugs, bums, idle or dead. My brothers and sisters and I all know people who are in prison, homeless, in foster homes and/or are staying with relatives. I know the importance of having an active mom. Someone for care and comfort and to keep a foot in your ass every once in a while, only to keep you on the right path. My siblings and I really didn't have active fathers in our lives so all we had to depend on was ourselves and our mother. My mother played the dual parent role as well as anyone else. She would kick us in the chest then hand us a bag of frozen vegetables to take down the swelling. She was tough when she needed to and kind when we called for it. There was always a good equilibrium.

Now I know that college is around the corner for seniors like me and tensions are getting a little high with that in mind. I always hear about how people can't wait to leave their homes, either to get a break from the respective parenting or just to start a new experience. I don't agree with that. Why are so many ready to away from the people who love them probably more than anyone else? Do you really have a grudge because your mom made you stay crib-bound on the nights of a few parties, or didn't get you that one thing you wanted or got on you about a sub-par grade you got when you knew you were getting your crap together? Look guys, I understand that parents can be pretty overprotective, unreasonable, tormenting, and a bunch of other adjectives that I don't feel like writing. But also understand, that they won't be here forever. You have to love and appreciate the people you care about while they are here because you won't always have the chance to, too many people take that for granted. In today's society, a mom can be kissing her son or daughter on the forehead/cheek for the last time and wouldn't know it. Hell, you could be kissed by your mom for the last time and wouldn't know it. Ponder that. Using the violence in Chicago and other violent cities along with the Sandy Hook incident as images, you will never know when the physical presence of a loved one will be missing. I remember my friend Layton telling me about how his mom died when he was little and how it affected his attitude towards a lot of things. Then it made me think about all my other friends who lost their mother or have had their mothers strung out on drugs. It's disheartening. I can't ever imagine myself without my mother and it brings me to tears that one day she will leave me. Almost unfair.

While we always seem to focus on how they give us grief, let's not forget the happiness and smiles they are responsible for. Those Christmas gifts that you thought they would never buy you but they got you. Those birthday presents that were waiting for you when you got home from school along with a personalized cake and you favorite meal. Those times where you were upset or hurt and your parents swooped in to the rescue faster than the man who's a speeding bullet himself. I remember one time I was in the backyard playing catch with some of my friends and a ball hit me right in the mouth. Blood was everywhere. Of course I went crying to my mom, it was only right. My mom saw me in distress and grabbed whatever cloth was near her, which just so happened to be one of her favorite shirts. My mom used her favorite shirt to clean gushing blood from my mouth, that's love for sure. I still have that bent back tooth from that day and when I brush my teeth, it serves as a constant reminder of her sacrificing something she cherished for me.

Think about those times where you were in huge jams that almost seemed unshakable, to you of course. The OG's always know a way. It may seem like they don't see your side of things, it's really that through their experience, they are just trying to show you something that is proven to work. My mom knows how to work almost any situation until it is in my favor. When I get in trouble, my mom would take my side and go for bat for me until she couldn't anymore. My mom made sure I was taken care of and I got what I deserved, whether it was a prize or an ass beating. On my 8th grade graduation day, it was unclear whether I was going to be the valedictorian because I was disciplined by the school a lot that year even though my grades were the best. My mom went down to the school early and caused a huge commotion in the office until she got someone to tell her whether I got the honor or not. My mom left angry, she came back with a sneaky smile. I came back with a big ass trophy. Owe it to my mom.

Moms generally want you to have the best in life, I know for sure my mom does. My mom always told me when I was little I was one of the few people who could do anything I wanted to, if I wanted to do it. She also told me numerous times that I would take care of her when I got older because I would have plenty of money. The fact that she has so much faith in me just wants me to never quit. That along with my intrinsic motivation within will never allow me to be inadequate and just somebody else. I have to maximize whatever I have in me so that when I get older I can actually take care of her better than she did for me, hard as that sounds because I don't think what I can do for her can equal what she did for me. In relation to my blog yesterday about my college process, you can now understand how I feel. I don't want to disappoint my mother. It seemed for a while all that she done for me and taught me was in vain because my future wasn't exactly what we both expected. Then it made me reminisce. My mother had hopes and dreams, just like everyone else. She gave those up or altered them when she had nine kids, while she was very well still one, although quite mature then. My mother didn't work long, hard, crap jobs for almost 30 years to not see me become what she worked even longer and harder to craft. I told my mom when I was five I wanted to rule the world and at 18 I still want to do exactly that. It's only fair that I do that, for all that she has done, fought through and done for me.

To close, even though me and my mom haven't had the best relationship throughout our lives, I wouldn't ask for one any different. She raised me to be an honorable, respectful, handsome, intelligent young man I present myself everyday. For that I am forever grateful. Now, I'm not telling you that you have to love your mother because I don't know everyone's situation. I understand that sometime's blood is just blood and nothing more. But in the respect of today, love her anyway. Treat her like the queen she truly is. I'm not gonna hit you with the "Why isn't everyday Mother's Day" but I will say if my future goes as planned, everyday I live will be dedicated to her. Love you ma! I now leave you with musical selections regarding what else? Mothers. Also, for everyone who sent me pics, I will take you back memory lane. Stay classy.